To blog or not to blog? That is the question.

Have you ever felt like there was a need to help but felt powerless to do so? I’ve been feeling a little bit of that lately. In a lot of ways I have felt very alone in my experience as a “school shooting survivor/witness”. Don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot of support from family, friends, and complete strangers but there is a part of me that has felt like very few people understand what I have dealt with. A lot of that has probably stemmed from the fact that there weren’t a lot of people who actually saw the shooting at the school I attended occur, as well as a general feeling that it is not something that most people, in my hometown, want to hear or talk about . As I have shared some of my experiences with those around me I have come to realize that there are a lot more people out there who have struggled with similar feelings as I have. I’ve realized that there are probably more people out there who have felt and experienced some of these things and have felt alone or unable to talk about it. I think there is a need for people who have lived through and experienced school shootings and other traumatic events to be able to connect and feel like they aren’t alone. Sure this partly comes from me trying to fill a need that I feel was in someway never met for me, but I still feel it is a need for others. In someways I feel the ability to help but in a lot of ways I feel powerless. How do I reach these people? Can I really help? Would anything I had to say make a difference? What is the best medium to use to reach out to those in need of help. There is very little information to be found as to what people who have experienced school shootings can and have experienced following the event. I have read that Veterans of War and School shooting witnesses have a lot of the same responses to the traumatic events they have experienced. I want to be able to help people understand some of the challenges they may face and be able to give them the courage to face them. I want to help people be more compassionate and understanding, and I want to make sure other people know they are not alone in their struggles, whatever they may be.  I have a little saying that I keep in my mind, and I guess it’s not a saying if you don’t say it so here it is, “Sometimes we are so busy trying to find a place to make a difference that we forget to make a difference wherever we find ourselves”. I haven’t decided if I’m making a difference or searching in vain.


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