Rantings and random babblings on self esteem

“They need to invent an immunization for baby girls that will guard against low self esteem. That’s what this world really needs.” From the mouth of my brother.

*I was at the grocery store the other day, standing in line waiting to unload my cart and out of boredom I started to look over the magazines that were displayed. A sampling of the headlines; “Lose weight fast!”, “Who’s too thin/Who’s too fat”, “Best and Worst Bikini bodies”, and so on. As I looked over them and others I was slightly disgusted. Among all the magazines that were telling you who’s who, who’s beautiful and who’s not, how to lose weight, and how to get so and so’s look, I only really saw one that talked about developing  inner beauty. Only a few days later I was at the grocery store with my husband. As we stood in line I watched him glance over the magazines and stop at one in particular and proclaim, “How rude!” He was looking at one magazine that had pictures of different stars body parts and was deeming them acceptable or, in short, disgusting. Really that’s what it is, rude. I’m not really sure who really want’s to read these magazines or look at the pictures. What purpose does it serve? Apparently if your famous your not allowed to be flawed and if you are someone will be sure to point it out so that all of us not famous types can feel better about our own flaws.  If there was a immunization to guard against low self esteem, boosters would have to be given yearly because with all the messages out there telling girls what they should and shouldn’t look like/act like, it would be hard to stay immune for long.

I was in a conversation with a girl discussing the facial similarities my brother and I had. I said, “You know, same pointy nose, same squinty eyes.” The girl I was talking to looked slightly startled, “Don’t say that. Your really cute.” I responded with a bit of a laugh, “I didn’t say the pointy nose and squinty eyes were or weren’t cute, they just are what they are.”

*I think we as a society, particularly the females, have become very single minded in what beautiful, cute pretty or even sexy are. Different things can be beautiful or cute or pretty or sexy. We don’t all have to have large almond shape eyes, the perfectly shaped nose that’s not too blunt, long, or pointy, boobs that make everyone not know where to look when they’re talking to you, and hips and a waist that can get away with wearing those super low waist jeans. I love variety in all things, in people, in flowers, in opinions, in beauty. Variety is beautiful. I cringe knowing that we are becoming not only more and more willing and capable of changing our appearances but are also getting closer to the prospect of being able to create “designer babies”. I would hate to have a future devoid of visual variety among people.

This is how it works You peer inside yourself     You take the things you like    And try to love the things you took (lyrics by Regina Spektor)

*There is a common misconception I have come to notice among women. The misconception being, that in order to be worthy of having confidence and a positive self esteem one must be beautiful. In other words or just the same rearranged, one must believe they are beautiful inside or out or both, in order to have a healthy self esteem. Guess what it’s a lie, if you believe this lie stop now. Low self worth isn’t something I have really struggled with in life. That doesn’t mean I think I’m super hot, super smart, or have every admirable trait  a person could have. I love me cause I’m me and if I don’t think I’m worth liking how can I expect anyone else to. This doesn’t mean I have just thrown my hands in the air and said “Oh well, I am who I am. Too bad if you don’t like it.” Well maybe I’ve done that a little. I do take care of myself, I strive to improve my character. In short, I don’t beat myself up for not being Kim Kardashian or Mother Teresa. I try to be the best version of Me there is and then love what ever version I get in the meantime. If you haven’t , Try it! Cause even those of us with squinty eyes pointy noses and a tendency to talk to much about themselves deserve to have a knowledge that we are of worth.

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