Oct 13th, I know that was yesterday but I’m writing about it today. For about a month now I have been feeling quite apprehensive about that day. It was that day, one year ago, that my cousin passed away very unexpectedly. I have never felt so sad in my life. It is unbelievable how much missing someone can hurt. As I’ve looked back on the past year of living without him here, I’ve started to feel very blessed to have good memories of him. I feel gratitude for the time I was able to spend with him. I feel very blessed to have such a great extended family, and to know them and for the opportunities we have to spend time together. I’m grateful for all the time we spent fishing together, eating together, for our yearly trip to Echo Lake, the tube rides, the funny sideways smirk he would give me, and for playing cards together. I’m grateful for the time I spent babysitting him when he was young, when he was little enough to stand on my lap and jump up and down and sing a silly song, when he would count my teeth and I’d tell him he was going to be a dentist someday, for blowing bubbles and drawing with sidewalk chalk. I feel grateful for the love. Even though I won’t see him for awhile and I miss him dearly I know I still have the love, and no one can take that away.